I need him like water
“Do you need me? So much that you have to beg?”
I heard your voice change as I started crying, holding your hand tightly. I’m 50 days away from my birthday, still too young to be sitting by the door like an old lady waiting for her lover. I’m too young to want so much more than makeup or trendy outfits.
My heart may not have been beating long, yet it feels like an old soul growing tired of waiting. Its strings are breaking and rotting away. I’ve never lived long enough to understand life’s significance, but 231 days of breathing since that day and learning about your existence made me understand what I want my life to be. And it is to have a life that has you.
Up until now, I continuously pushed my brain to think I need you, even when I apparently don’t. To need you as if you’d help me breathe, as if you were to provide food to nourish me, to need you like water, and to love you like a garden begging for rain.
“I feel like I need you” was my answer.
But in reality, it’s not me but my heart that needs you. A heart that barely felt affection since its first beat. A heart that needs you as its oxygen to live longer.
I lied when I said I couldn’t breathe when you aren’t around and my hands tremble when you aren’t here to hold them. I lied when I told you my heart starts surging when you aren’t here, but what’s true is that it pounds because It misses you and It needs you.
“I need you. You don’t need me too, but please stay.”
Yes, I do need you. I need you like water to help my body function properly. I need you as if I am made out of seventy-five percent of you. I need you like water.
